Friday, January 8, 2010
Delay
It's been a while since I've written because so much has happened! I can't compose too much right now, but I will shortly!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Troubled Tuesday
I must say that as much as I enjoy my life, sometimes it is not always peachy. This time last year, I went through a bad breakup with my boyfriend that I probably should've seen coming, yet because of poor communication and cloudy judgment I did not. For six months, he and I worked on things, and we got back together in June, which was great, and I think we were ready for it. Now I'm starting to wonder if the holiday season/break is what drives us apart. I say this for multiple reasons:
1. I thrive on staying busy. During the regular school year, I am usually enrolled in a minimum of twelve credits. Additionally, this past semester I also worked at one of the coffee shops on campus. So between all of my homework, which is a ton, I might add, and working afternoons and some closing shifts, I stayed fairly busy. This gave my boyfriend and I plenty of time apart, so we looked forward to seeing each other when we had the chance to.
2. I hate the holidays. I had a terrible experience with the holidays ten years ago exactly, and it has never really left me. I have gone to counselors and worked on these issues to no avail. On top of these events in my past, this year my family went through some extreme hardships.... so extreme that I decided to not attend the usual family affairs, as to preserve my own sanity.
3. I don't have many friends. The ones that I do I care about greatly, but I went from being anti-social my freshman year to an all out party girl. After too much partying, I settled down when I met my boyfriend, and I've been happy doing that. The one thing that I have realized is that even though I don't party, I still like to have communication with those that I call friends, but it seems like most of them are graduated, moved away, engaged/married, and/or have kids now. Their lives have moved on while I'm still in school, and if they are still in school, most of them have gone home for the break, but Bozeman really is my home these days. Another issue I have is that I am slow to trust, and so it is hard for me to make new friends.
There are more reasons, but this should give you a good idea as to why I think there is a void growing between my boyfriend and I. I love him so much, so I am willing to work on putting the needed space between us, but other issues are starting to sprout up outside of just how we spend our time. For one, one of my good friends is getting married on the 1st of the year, which I am so excited about, but my boyfriend is now starting to act like he really doesn't want to go with me anymore to her wedding. That hurts me because it was this time last year when we broke up, specifically New Year's Eve, so to me this would just be a sign of new beginnings, but he doesn't get that, which he divulged to me this morning.
Oh well, all I can do is be me. I can't change who I am, so I can just change how I spend my time, so here is my plan:
1. I need to get all of my laundry washed and put away, so that I can be ready for school to start back up (and not have to wear ugly undies anymore *wink*)
2. I am going to work on really organizing my house so that it remains tidy looking even if there is the organized chaos of homework or something going on.
3. I need to get my dishwasher fixed because dish drying racks are not so chic!
4. I want to spend more time with my girlfriends, although that will take some more time to pass because they have to return first
5. I want to start practicing piano more (I'm lucky to have mine!)
6. I have a needle point project that needs finished
7. I am going to go home and work for my mom for a couple of days, so I can earn some money to buy my boyfriend his birthday present
These are just a few ideas that I have, and if anyone else has any please let me know because I could sure use all of the help that I can get!
Anyways, I need to go start laundry, get some dishes done, and then it is off to fetch one of my boyfriend and I's mutual friends to bring him back to town for some skiing (not me, him because he got a DUI and can't drive currently), so I will be signing off for now, but here if you click today's title, you'll be linked to a song that really describes how I feel today. It's called "Rain" by Creed. Over and out!
1. I thrive on staying busy. During the regular school year, I am usually enrolled in a minimum of twelve credits. Additionally, this past semester I also worked at one of the coffee shops on campus. So between all of my homework, which is a ton, I might add, and working afternoons and some closing shifts, I stayed fairly busy. This gave my boyfriend and I plenty of time apart, so we looked forward to seeing each other when we had the chance to.
2. I hate the holidays. I had a terrible experience with the holidays ten years ago exactly, and it has never really left me. I have gone to counselors and worked on these issues to no avail. On top of these events in my past, this year my family went through some extreme hardships.... so extreme that I decided to not attend the usual family affairs, as to preserve my own sanity.
3. I don't have many friends. The ones that I do I care about greatly, but I went from being anti-social my freshman year to an all out party girl. After too much partying, I settled down when I met my boyfriend, and I've been happy doing that. The one thing that I have realized is that even though I don't party, I still like to have communication with those that I call friends, but it seems like most of them are graduated, moved away, engaged/married, and/or have kids now. Their lives have moved on while I'm still in school, and if they are still in school, most of them have gone home for the break, but Bozeman really is my home these days. Another issue I have is that I am slow to trust, and so it is hard for me to make new friends.
There are more reasons, but this should give you a good idea as to why I think there is a void growing between my boyfriend and I. I love him so much, so I am willing to work on putting the needed space between us, but other issues are starting to sprout up outside of just how we spend our time. For one, one of my good friends is getting married on the 1st of the year, which I am so excited about, but my boyfriend is now starting to act like he really doesn't want to go with me anymore to her wedding. That hurts me because it was this time last year when we broke up, specifically New Year's Eve, so to me this would just be a sign of new beginnings, but he doesn't get that, which he divulged to me this morning.
Oh well, all I can do is be me. I can't change who I am, so I can just change how I spend my time, so here is my plan:
1. I need to get all of my laundry washed and put away, so that I can be ready for school to start back up (and not have to wear ugly undies anymore *wink*)
2. I am going to work on really organizing my house so that it remains tidy looking even if there is the organized chaos of homework or something going on.
3. I need to get my dishwasher fixed because dish drying racks are not so chic!
4. I want to spend more time with my girlfriends, although that will take some more time to pass because they have to return first
5. I want to start practicing piano more (I'm lucky to have mine!)
6. I have a needle point project that needs finished
7. I am going to go home and work for my mom for a couple of days, so I can earn some money to buy my boyfriend his birthday present
These are just a few ideas that I have, and if anyone else has any please let me know because I could sure use all of the help that I can get!
Anyways, I need to go start laundry, get some dishes done, and then it is off to fetch one of my boyfriend and I's mutual friends to bring him back to town for some skiing (not me, him because he got a DUI and can't drive currently), so I will be signing off for now, but here if you click today's title, you'll be linked to a song that really describes how I feel today. It's called "Rain" by Creed. Over and out!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday Morning
Well, to be honest, I am doing this out of boredom. I have been on break from school for far too long, so I decided to start this blog just to see what would come of it. I've heard that a great deal of personal success can come from blogging, so we'll see. Anyways, I plan on using this blog to detail the day-to-day comings and goings of my life, which I find normal, but many of my friends have said should be turned into a television show. Imagine that! My life on tv.... now that would make for some excellent drama!
Before I go any further, I want to congratulate everyone on making it this far! It's the last Monday of 2009!
Moving forward, I want to tell everyone my favorite part of this holiday season: the instinct everyone seems to have to dress up! I was born in Pittsburgh, and I was raised in a nice middle class family. My parents were always dressing my sisters and I up for Lord knows everything, so I continue to enjoy the whole ordeal of dolling myself up! A little over 9 years ago, my family moved from Pittsburgh to a little town in Montana called Big Timber. You may actually know of it because it was the setting for Robert Redford's "The Horse Whisperer." Anyways, the story goes on, I graduate high school and decided to enroll in the English literature program at Montana State University. Years go by, and here I am, about to graduate this upcoming semester (finally, it took me 5 years!), and shortly put, my life has changed.
Ok! I'll get to my point, I promise, but as this is my first post, I figured I'd fill you in a bit. So now I'm a city girl, living in MT, and to make it even better, I am dating a rancher who is huge into hunting! I grew up with no weapons in my family's house, save for 2 Civil War era swords (honestly! who owns such things!?!?), so you can probably imagine my Mom's surprise when I started dating someone who was so avid about carnage... I had hunted before, but not in a serious fashion: gophers and doe fests was all. Anyways, over the past two years of dating my boyfriend, I have killed (not all of these were with him) 2 mule deer bucks, 1 mule deer doe, 1 white tail doe, 1 elk, umpteen gophers, a dozen or so ducks, geese, etc, and I was always dressed for the occasion. I even have two rifles that my boyfriend has bought be for my birthdays: .325 WSM last year and a pink camo .22 LR this year!
So, what do holidays+my boyfriend+my style equal? Me dressed in a short, red dress, fishnet-like stockings, danner hunting boots, and a parka shooting muskrats out of the creek on Christmas day!
To me that's normal, but to others..... not so much. Stay tuned for more of the Life and Times of this ordinary gal!
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